How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich

HowweloveI have come to a point in my life, which usual everyone comes to, some sooner than others, where I am finally in a place where I can fully invest myself in a monogamous relationship. I was intrigued by How We Love because I wondered if it was similar to another book I read about love languages.

Although the book seems to be written specifically for married couples, after reading the book I came to the conclusion that this book will work for any relationship. The premise of the book is mainly about how we love and how our earlier experiences in life has shaped the way we both give and receive love.

As I was reading the various personality types, I was surprised to find that I share a few common traits with different love types. Apparently I am both an avoider and people pleaser. It’s not until part 4 of the book where you’re guided on how to change how you give and receive love, and there are a lot of strategies and suggestions to help you overcome the hurdles and setbacks which prevent you from finding a healthy, loving relationship.

This version of the book is the expanded edition, and since I didn’t read the original I can’t really compare the two books; however, the main thing I noticed about this book is that is based on religious teachings. Therefore, I’m not sure how that would affect someone who is an atheist or come from a different religious background. Again, the information about relationships is good, but I don’t know how some who didn’t grow up in a religious family will feel about the religious undertone of the book.


2 thoughts on “How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich

  1. My wife and I read this book, and now, as parents, we are on to How We Love Our Kids. It’s fantastic! Most of the insight in the book is rooted in Attachment Theory, not the Bible (see the back of the book). There are points where they align the insights with the Bible to show that they line up, but it is a book written out of a science background.

    That means that it really is for anyone. If anyone was to read it and ignore the Biblical references, then apply the teachings faithfully, they would still benefit tremendously.

    And you’re right, the principals here are applicable in any relationship. As a classroom teacher, I am thinking through how I can bring the insights with me into the school setting.

    Liked by 1 person

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